Champs-Élysées in Paris, France

The year 2013 was a big year of moving and change. I’ve challenged myself time after time in new situations, failed, fallen down, and had to force myself to get back up. Each time it did make me a stronger person, and has built me to become the person whom I am today. I’m not someone who gave up and even though my first three months in France was the most scariest time of my life, I never once thought of going home. Neither did I thought of packing my bags when I was in Alma, Quebec last year and the weather was -55 degrees celsius and I was living by myself in isolation. No matter how difficult things were, I just kept looking for solutions until I found one. I didn’t limit myself, or throw out the opportunity I was given.

It’s much easier said than done. Living in a foreign place by yourself is scary but I did not lose hope.

These are the most interesting and valuable lessons I learned from living abroad the last year.

1. Accepting the Problem: No matter how difficult life is, you have to accept the current situation and make a decision of how to move on. I think many people struggle with this as they feel they must have the “answers” to everything especially in a North American and Asian context. You have a lot of pressure of when you have to finish school, when you will find a boyfriend, get married, have kids, what to do with your life, start a career, your income, etc. I grew up being taught and told there were very traditional ways to do things, but when that didn’t work out, I realized I’m looking for my answers elsewhere. I accepted the fact that I did not know and took the initiative to go hunting for the answers. I was not scared to find out what the future holds in store for me. The lesson: It is only when we accept hardship and am willing to put it behind, can we then push forward to do bigger and better things.
2. There is no Plan B: Organizing and planning things are my favourite things to do. I love creating and making things happen and to see them unfold. I plan ahead, make agendas, organize people together. So when I knew I was moving to France, it was only natural that I organized myself a place to stay and to be the most cost-efficient as possible. I tried to avoid paying rent, by working and living with families as an au pair/ tutoring and although it seemed like the “perfect” plan, it crashed on me quicky in its first few days. I didn’t know where to live, or where to run to, but I knew I had to get out before it got worst. I knew I was unhappy. It was scary, upsetting and unfortunate, but it wasn’t a choice. In life, I can do all the planning and trying to prepare myself, but unexpected things do happen and when it does, it just like a fire alarm. When you hear the bell, you know you gotta run. No time to pack, no time to think. Just run. Now.
3. Language Learning: In the past two years, I got to teach English to Francophones. I watched my students learn English, how I teach English as well as how I learn French myself. I’m now fascinated by how people learn and how languages work. Before moving to Alma, Quebec, I used to believe that living a place would automatically guarantee language acquisition. At least that is what everyone told me. Today, I can tell you that I was wrong, and that if you thought the same, you are wrong also. Language acquisition is by language immersion and the social circumstances you have chosen. If I stayed in my comfort zone with English speaking friends, in France, there is no difference than staying and living in Canada. I would never learn the language until I chose to speak it and practice it. Living in a country only gives an opportunity for someone to meet locals and to learn and practice, but whether you take it for granted, the choice is yours.

Many people told me how brave I was and if they were in my situation, they would have gone home. I’m a small girl with a big heart and a lot of courage. Today, it is easier for me to retell my stories, to laugh in ridicule and then be thankful it is over. But this is reality and this is life. I worked hard to be here, and I’m staying here for good.

It’s been a tough journey and I’m tired of fighting but life is all about choices and perspectives.

I chose to be here.

Everyone has a story.

This is mine.