The Harsh Reality of Living Abroad
Since graduating in 2012, I have been traveling and working abroad.
My family thinks it is an abnormal, nomadic life that I have chosen and even though they are supportive, they are tired of seeing me leaving home each and every year. Society tells me that nomadic living is just running away from the mundane 9-5 life and that teaching is for graduates who have no idea what they want to do with their lives. My mentors tell me that I’ve lost a few years and am now behind my peers – I’ve given up moving up the corporate ladder in exchange for exploring the world.
Besides the few people who sees living abroad as a ‘cool factor,’ everyone around me is telling me I’m just doing something crazy – I’m living an unrealistic dream by freely traveling the world, and taking advantage of being an irresponsible 20-something.
Perhaps, on the outside, this is what it looks and sounds like. Through my social media updates of the places I have been, and the many things I have seen, it looks like I had an incredible time. Life is easy, amazing and wonderful.
But in reality, I know the truth. Living abroad really wasn’t that great. It wasn’t easy. And it certainly was not glorious.
My experiences came with a big price tag and one that has challenged me and pushed me off the edge time after time. I sometimes describe it as the ‘sink or swim’ experience and it involved a lot of falling down and perseverance in getting back up. These few years had been the most challenging and difficult times of my life. Living abroad as a foreigner – a minority – had forced me to think on my feet and face challenges unprepared, first-handed. I faced a lot of language barrier and isolation along the way and was stripped from my basic human needs such as even having a place to stay.
Every single time I moved out to a new city, a new country, I start again from ground zero. I begin the entire process again. I need to look for a new network of friends, find a new place to live and learn to adjust to my new environment. It wasn’t easy but I do it because I believe the experience is worth it. Even after many failures, and events that went terrifically wrong, I still hung on and continued to keep going.
The thing is I believe that the learning curve is so much bigger and wider when I am alone. I see things with a new perspective and that gives me an opportunity to compare and contrast different lifestyles from around the world. By living through hardships and unique experiences, I have a deep sense of accomplishment of how far I have gotten and how much I have grown.
Sure – I can’t tell you how rich I am in monetarily value because to be honest, I didn’t go to be on the road to be rich. I left home, applied for a work or study visa and traveled because I wanted to feel something within me. I wanted to feel fulfilled within my own soul because I took the initiative to go outside my comfort zone and to absorb other cultures around me.
Yes, it is true. I’ve lost growing a career in the corporate world, but I have gained so much more. I have gained years of invaluable life skills on the road. I became a problem solver, a planner, a traveler and a world explorer. My journey is tougher than yours because I never know what I will find. I never know where it will lead but I’m constantly looking. I’m in this constant process of elimination – understanding what I like or what I don’t like – and learning more about myself each and every day. I know that slowly but surely I will get to where I want to go, but it won’t be today. It might not even be tomorrow.
Remember, nomads are not running from the world. Instead, they are not letting the world run away from them.
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I love how this post isn’t a “travel the world and life will be perfect” post.
Living abroad is hard. It is incredible sometimes, and really difficult sometimes.
Love the honesty!
Absolutely! That is exactly it! I chose this path because I always heard those stories of how traveling and living abroad is so incredible – so I went to do it. Never did I expect myself to keep falling into deep holes. I guess we learn the hard way, don’t we? 🙂 I’m not saying that it isn’t great, but let’s look at both sides of the story! Thanks for commenting!
I believe everyone should have their choices in what they want with their life. It’s great that you have found what you wanted at an early age. 🙂 We grow by the choices we make. Cheers for the path you’ve chosen and the adventures that comes with it!
Thank you for the encouragement! I’m still searching and looking for what I want in life – but I do truly believe my adventures and my perseverance has given me character to be the person I want to become 🙂
What a wonderful post. I think a lot of travellers who read this will agree with you – I certainly do. I sometimes feel I should settle and build a career, but travel is worth so much more than anything else.
Thank you! I’m glad this resonates with you! We don’t have to settle to find a career, we could always find one on the road, or wherever it takes us! That’s what I’m learning. Trying to find what I want to do as I travel and experiment different things in new environments. This is what makes traveling so much more interesting 🙂
I use to think that my path would be super straight forward. Finish school, get a job, get married, and have kids. Because I’ve spent more time travelling, I now feel like it was a very important part of my life. As for family and friends, luckily they have been super supportive but if they haven’t traveled or been a nomad, it’s hard for them to understand.
Absolutely! I used to like having a plan, but now I realise plan changes based on the current situation, so just go with the flow! Eventually you’ll find your path : )
Absolutely agree! I have been away now for about six years and no regrets. It has taught me so much more than life at home ever would have. I am really happy about it and have discovered so many new things. Not just about new countries or places, but also about myself. It is great! Plus there is always the time and opportunity to go back, settle down and start building your career 🙂
I agree and I’m so glad that resonates with you! Traveling forces you to grow up and to be in difficult situations that you would never have imagined yourself to be able to handle. I feel the same way! Home will always be waiting.
I’ve lived in some 7 different countries since leaving the Netherlands for the first time in 2010, and in all honesty, in most cases I found it leaning more towards the hard side than the fun side. But since I keep going, there must be something about it that still resonates with me 😀 But yes, I totally feel you.. how it looks from the outside isn’t always what it is like in reality.
That’s really awesome! I’ve moved 3 times since leaving my home city, and my friend thinks that I’m crazy to keep doing it – even after all those hard times I’ve had! I think what keeps us going is knowing that it’s more interesting to be on the outside than the inside – and even if it is hard – we see ourselves growing up, which makes it worthwhile. Would you agree? 😀
I’m planning to stay for a long(er) time in the country where I live now but it is indeed not so easy. It does however feel like you said: not letting the world run away from you.
Good for you! I truly do believe every word I’ve put in this article, and I’m so glad you feel the same way!
As a British expat living in Sydney this really resonates with me. While there’s been no language barrier, my eighteen months in Oz have been the hardest of my life so far. Lovely post x
Thank you so much Lucy! I used to think language barrier was the biggest thing in ‘fitting in’ but now I’ve learned that sometimes it can also be other things too such as cultural norms or the accent. Would you agree? 🙂
This is exactly me! Loved reading this and knowing I’m not alone <3
You are definitely not alone! Let me know if there is anything I can support abroad wherever you are in the world! 🙂
Yes! I’ve moved to beautiful Provence from Canada and it has been really hard. With no connections or friends it has been difficult to find work and integrate. I’ve experienced things I never would have if I hadn’t moved, though it does indeed feel like a large price tag.
I am originally from Toronto and I moved to Paris for a crazy nine months. It was the hardest time of my life. I barely spoke the language in the beginning, and then moved in with a French family and worked at a French school. Barely had anyone to speak to me during those months. So I understand. 🙂 If you need someone to talk about Canada vs. France thing, I’m totally your girl!! : D
I love your view on this and feel much of the same way! It’s a priority shift, a different form of education and experience.
Absolutely! Traveling is amazing, but it comes both ways! There are challenges and I like to bring these ideas upfront on my blog because I know everyone’s been there. Just not that many people write about it!
I believe traveling and living abroad is worth it too! I love the closing quote: “Nomads are not running from the world. Instead, they are not letting the world run away from them.” I totally agree! I’m definitely far behind people I went to school with in terms of career, but I’ve gained a lot of priceless travel experiences. 🙂
I’m the same! I feel so behind when I talk to people at home sometimes – but I also have something to talk about that they can’t. I believe our experiences really makes us different and that will give us the upper hand in the long run. 🙂
Great article, Charmaine!! There have been so many times when I’ve thought to myself “Am I really running away from something like everyone keeps telling me that I am? Am I avoiding becoming an adult because I choose to travel and not conform to societies idea of normal?” It was really hard for me a few times while I was abroad, but ultimately, I say we all need to pick what makes us the happiest. And choosing to create my own version of success makes me happiest! Can’t wait to read more from you!
Ahhh girl! You know I’m always behind you on this! I’m so glad I met you and that we connected. You are awesome. No worries, because know now that you are not alone! 🙂 Success is different in everyone’s eyes and I’m so so GLAD that we are finding our own path to success! We will get through this together!
Strangely, I find it easier to live on the road than to settle down, buy a house, pay mortgage, have kids…those things are scaring me more than hitchhiking in a Muslim country ever did 😉
Haha! Absolutely. Different types of fears right. For many – hitchhiking is dangerous and non-traditional. Yet, having kids and settling down is normal and average so its more accepted in society!
Very good article. It’s hard being the person that wants something different from what society is telling you to do. Good for you that you trusted your gut and followed your own path.
Thank you so much! It wasn’t easy but glad I did it anyways!
You’re absolutely right, living abroad is an experience that is ALWAYS worthwhile, not in spite of the challenges we face, but because of them 🙂
Thank you! 🙂 It doesn’t get easier!
Yessssssss! OMG I see what you mean – you totally get it! I know people back in my home country mean well, but I get so sick of having to justify my life choices just because I didn’t choose a traditional marriage-babies-mortgage-9/5 life. We should be celebrating each other’s life choices, not belittling or judging! Thank you for sharing this. I agree with 110% of what you’ve said here.
Absolutely! Cheers to us for taking the leap and taking charge of our own lives! 🙂