Neverending Battle

Earlier this month. I left France again on an amazing trip to Denmark with my students. It really came with a bit of luck and chance that my students were leaving to Denmark at the time I finished my contract to go meet their Danish pen pals for a cultural exchange and I kindly asked if I could tag along. The week started quite fabolous with amazing dinner invitations from Danish teachers, lovely sunny weather, a clean and comfortable house to live in and some time to spend with my students and colleagues. I even got to meet up for lunch with my exchange friend who I met three years ago in Singapore yet reunited in Denmark.

The city Coppenhagen is a cycling city where there are bike lanes everywhere so it was every easy to get around. It was very eco-friendly. So that Sunday afternoon, Sandra and I decided to hunt for bikes to rent and to explore the city. At first I was not fond of the idea of cycling, because I’m not very good but was convinced by the idea it would be an adventure and I should give it a try. So we found bikes and was on our way. We managed to cover a lot of the city within three hours - I was quite impressed how I have managed - until my incident.

We were rushing back to return our bikes. I just made a turn at a traffic light and accidentally entered the car lane instead of the bike lane. In a rational moment of panic, I tried going up onto the ramp that divides the two lanes but didn’t realize how dangerous it was as it was cobblestone and was slanted at an angle. Before I knew it, my wheels were turning, I lost my balance, and I fell on my right side, colliding my right elbow badly. My face and knee was bruised and my left hand scratched to the ground and was cut open and was bleeding. My legs were fine but I couldn’t move my arm without deep agony pain.For a few minutes, I pulled off the side of the road and see if I was okay. I couldnt move my arms but I could move my legs so we continued to return our bikes.

At the bike place, I washed my hands and got some bandages to place over my hand. We took the train home and for those two hours in the train, I didn’t move at all, trying to forget the pain existed. But the minute I got off the train, the pain came back. Every movement was a sharp pain that I cannot really describe. The few steps to my arrival to the doorsteps of the housewas a scary moment in time as I literally wanted to cry out in pain. I didn’t look too damaged on my skin with no bruises anywhere but the pain was internal and it caused inmobility. The night ended with more sharp pains, shock and 10 minutes of shaking in coldness.I went to bed immediately taking lots of painkillers.

I lasted two more days in Denmark, slowly regaining movement again and on many painkillers. Even though I was able to move my arm, I realized I couldn’t move my elbow and it looked strangely crooked as I can’t straighten it. I started getting worried, realizing it may be something more serious and I really have to get an x-ray this time. I was fortunate I could board the plane back to France and immediately went to the ER at the hospital. After walking through different departments in the hospital and two hrs later, the doctor informed me I had a fractured elbow and needed surgery immediately in the next few days.

I can’t even say how fear and confusion swarmed over my body. I never go to the hospital; not even see the doctors very frequently; yet here I am in the emergency room and needed surgery in a foreign country. I just finished work and so my visa was expiring in a few days so I might not have had health coverage and I didn’t know what to do. I went home and the next day came back to checkup. Turns out, they told me my surgery was the next day and I cannot go home tonight. They injected needles in me, gave me some pills and next thing I knew, I was trapped in a hospital room and my surgery was the next day. In less than 24 hrs my entire world turned around. From hopping on and off a plane to going to the ER and then now surgery - I was in disbelief and couldn’t evven digest how it all happened so quick. I was shocked.

It has been close two weeks since I am back to France. I had to cancel my two-week trip with my best friend to the UK, call all the companies for refund, call my travel insurance for coverage, see a nurse every two days, go to the prefacture to ask about my visa and a whole lot of paperwork and errands. I have now adapted typing in my left hand (which is what I have done here), learned how to adjust to my cast and slowly recovering with lots of rest and sleep.

Even few weeks to my departure from France, I still can’t get a break. I am so tired of this mess. It really has been a sink or swim experience. I won’t and can’t give up.

Bear with me. I’m almost there.

Everyone has a story.

This is mine.