Au Revoir France!

After 8.5 months living in Paris, I’ve finally left the country that I have been having a love-and-hate relationship with. It has a really hard and difficult year - one of the toughest I have ever had to deal with - especially on my own and in a foreign country. I describe my year as a ‘sink-or-swim’ experience but no matter how difficult it was, I have never let myself to drown. I never thought of coming home as an option and I kept pulling myself through. It was truly a battle and I feel I’m constantly at war and in a boxing ring against France - getting past one challenge and onto a new one. It just never ends.

So here are some of the things I’ve learned from my experiences:

1. Ask for Help from Strangers: When you live in a foreign country, your limited network really requires you to reach out to whoever you can find. I remember in my first month, I struggled with multiple of things. At an expat meetup, I met some kind people and explained to them about my current (horrific) living conditions and how I would appreciate if they could help me out. They understood what’s it like to be living abroad but how difficult it is for a foreigner. Next thing I knew, these two people were my heros: one who helped me to move to my new house and another who helped me to write a refund letter. I realized that I can’t do everything on my own and it’s okay to ask for help!
2. Cultural Shock: I know, cultural shock is a cliche expression, and everyone says it is normal to not adapt to other customs. But sometimes, these customs really does drive me insane. For example, dealing with bureaucracy and a whole lot of paperwork, and a long waiting time (I’m talking about months here) seems to be normal in Paris. Well, in my world, this is not normal. I’ve left Paris after 8.5 months without even receiving an official health card to go to the doctors and this to me is unacceptable. If I’ve learned two things from it, it is: 1) a matter of priority and 2) laisse tomber - literally translated it to let it go. In other words, I’m too mad to be mad and their priority is definitely not its people (unfortunately).
3. It Can’t Get Worse: When I first moved in to my first house as an au pair and that fell through, I thought, starting from the rock bottom means that everything will be all rainbows from here. I can’t be more wrong - because after the first move, I had another 3 more moves until I was settled. The thing is, life can always get worse, but we have to choose how to handle the situation. You can’t predict the future and you can’t choose your luck, but you can choose to fight it or to give up. In my words, either give it my best shot or go home.

When I told people I’m going to live in France, everyone told me I was lucky. I thought so too. But luck has nothing to do with my travel adventures or the places I’ve been. Luck was a coincidence that resulted through my hard work and my willingness to step out of my comfort zone. I’ve also been struck with a whole bunch of endless bad luck in France - but that didn’t stop me from travelling and living out my dream. It has been a roller-coaster year and although you stunned me with your beauty France, I don’t miss you. I’m glad to be home.

Everyone has a story.

This is mine.